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Sunday, April 01, 2007

FLASH! Wash. Monument renamed "IKJ Wash"

The President Emeritus of the Universe, Dr. President Sir Mr. The Honorable H. I. J. K. L. M. N. O. P. Jordan, Jr. has announced today that the Washington Monument will be renamed in his honor.

Quoting His Eminence: "The selection of the new name of the Washington Monument was made following 'Best Practices' as outlined by the Association of Governing Educational Oligarchs (AGEO). Even the President of the AGEO, Dr. Wiseguy Airhead has made a statement supporting the decision."

Dr. Airhead stated: "As President of the AGEO, I can state with authority that the decision to rename the Washington Monument belongs to Jordan and Jordan alone. He must be accepted as being the final authority on the matter. Those are my reasons."

The renaming ceremony will take place at 11:59 pm tonight, April 1, 2007. Howard Hughes' Spruce Goose wooden airplane will do a fly-by, followed by the landing of the UFO from the movie "The Day the Earth Stood Still."

After the UFO lands, the 8-foot-tall robot Gort will carry Jordan on his shoulders towards Gallaudet University where Jordan will be placed upon his throne in a balcony under the Tower Clock bell tower in order to rule over the District of Columbia, which will be renamed "The District of Jordania."

Search lights will shine bright beams of light up into the sky in order to project an image of Jordan onto the clouds holding his hands up, making the ASL sign for "people."

Jordan explained: "I've always cared about people more than anything. I am a people's president of Jordania. All of the future presidents of the District of Jordania will be Jordanites, but we will each be Jordanites in our own way. That's because there are many ways to worship Jordan and many different ways to be a Jordanite."

CLICK HERE to read previous posts of the Gallaudet Protest Legal Issues blog.


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